Washington Post - Mensa Invitational

For a good time.....

Here is the Washington Post's Mensa Invitational which once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding,subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. What's your fav?

*Here are some of the winners:*

1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.
2. Ignoranus : A person who's both stupid and an jerk
3. Intaxication : Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
4. Reintarnation : Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
5. Bozone ( n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
6. Foreploy : Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting lovin.
7. Giraffiti : Vandalism spray-painted very, very high
8. Sarchasm : The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
9. Inoculatte : To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
10. Osteopornosis : A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
11. Karmageddon : It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
12. Decafalon (n.): The gruelling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
13. Glibido : All talk and no action.
14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
16. Beelzebug (n.) : Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
17. Caterpallor ( n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in thefruit you're eating.

The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings forcommon words. And the winners are:

1. coffee , n. the person upon whom one coughs.
2. flabbergasted , adj. appalled by discovering how much weight one hasgained.
3. abdicate , v. to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. esplanade , v. to attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. willy-nilly , adj. impotent.
6. negligent , adj. absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a night gown.
7. lymph , v. to walk with a lisp.
8. gargoyle , n. olive-flavored mouthwash.
9. flatulence , n. emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been runover by a steamroller.
10. balderdash , n. a rapidly receding hairline..
11. testicle , n. a humorous question on an exam.
12. rectitude , n. the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
13. pokemon , n.. a Rastafarian proctologist.
14. oyster , n. a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishism's.
15. Frisbeetarianism , n. the belief that, after death, the soul flies uponto the roof and gets stuck there.
16. circumvent , n. an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewishmen.