Showing posts with label Trust in Him. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Trust in Him. Show all posts

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Jeepers, Martini's & Dinner in a Pumpkin?

 No we didn't buy a jeep. :) 
A few days before my surgery, Weston's car was in the shop being repaired and 
I took the boys for a fun cruise in our rental. 
I wanted to squeeze in a date with them before the big day.
We had a blast! 


 Warren has always been a pretty serious kid but the older he gets the more his sense of humor and playfulness shines brighter. This was one of those moments I accidentally caught on video.
He makes me smile.
(Video only available on the blog)

 We drove around for over and hour and a half rocking out. Then, 
went through the drive through at Chik-Fil-A for ice cream. :) 

Just before my surgery Weston snapped this picture just in case I died. 
Nice, huh? 
Even though I passed my stress test prior to surgery we were both pretty nervous to say the least. 
I am smiling only because he was being a goof and told me he thought 
I looked hot in this hospital gown. 
I am so grateful for all his support through everything! 

Speaking of cheerleaders? This 3 month old little boy has been an ANGEL sent from heaven! 
I think I gave him about 1 million kisses this day. :)

Getting surgery is a funny thing. I have had three c-sections but was always awake during each. I had never been put all the way out before. I was way nervous of course because of all my heart stuff but man once the anesthesia set in..... life was AWESOME!! The anesthesiologist said he was going to give me a little martini and then they'd roll me into surgery. Well, that is the last thing I remember! They claimed that I was talking and moved myself onto the surgical table and all...but I don't remember any of it! I just remember waking up in recovery with the most peaceful feeling EVER. It was fantastic! 
I have actually dreamed about that moment, since. Is that bad? ha ha

Well Dr Quast, my 79 year old surgeon, said the surgery went well although it did end up taking about an hour longer than he had expected. He said that my gallbladder had many adhesions from having MANY gallbladder attacks therefore he had to do a lot more cutting to get the darn thing out! Well, all I can say is I think that thing was acting up for a long time and it was sucking the life out of me! I also didn't have any bradycardia (heart rate dropping) issues during the surgery which is a HUGE relief! All I can say is I feel SO much better since having that darn thing out! My back pain is gone and my energy has quadrupled! I am so grateful for a healthy body! 

This is where it gets ridiculous. You know how they say trouble comes in threes? Well, the day after my surgery Warren ended up at the ER getting stitches from cutting the bread that we asked him not to cut. This was the picture Weston texted me as I was trying to figure out how I would pick up Benjamin who had just cried "mommy I'm not feeling very good"....


This was him for the next two days. I have never seen him so sick. 
I guess it was a blessing?  Despite the continual fever and vomit, he was more subdued than usual those days. Weston was back at work and I just sort of hobbled back and forth with the bucket. 
We were a pathetic site! lol I am so grateful this is all over! 



Speaking of gratitude, over the last 4 months my life has been filled with blessings and many angels around us to help us through a physically and emotionally exhausting time. My husband to name the first, a few family members and lots of wonderful friends. 

The Lord has taken care of us. I worried before I had the baby about having the help I needed, when I needed it. As people have visited, baby sat, brought delicious and creative meals, smiles, hugs, a listening ear, baby gifts, flowers, encouragement, yummy bread & elbows ready to clean....I have been absolutely filled with gratitude. Each time I have a baby I keep a "Thank You" list so I don't forget to send off a note to each person. It is humbling to look at the list as it grew...day by day. I had a large box of Thank You's and ran out of cards! I am so grateful for the wonderful examples of integrity, unconditional love and support around us. It is these Christlike examples I want to follow and pay forward throughout my life. We are blessed.   :)



Monday, August 29, 2011

Our Baby Story...


(For posterity's sake...) 

Ever seen the show on TLC called The Baby Story? When I was pregnant with Warren (#1), I was obsessed with watching it. It always stressed Weston out to watch because it usually highlighted the most difficult pregnancies and birthing stories. When he would get too stressed about the drama I would just tease him and tell him that if I prepared him for the worst case scenario, he would be so pleasantly surprised when he saw how easily and natural our baby came. I was present when my sister Melinda gave birth to her first son. She slept through all her contractions. Two pushes and he was out. That was SO gonna be me! How I wish my words could have been true. If I had been a pioneer woman who had given birth on the plains, I would have been buried along the way! 

With Warren I had a great pregnancy. I prepared for a natural delivery in the hospital. We took lamaze, bought the birthing ball and patiently waited for the big day to arrive. Nine days after my due date it finally came. After 38 hours of labor (32 of them done naturally), not sleeping for 2 nights in a row and a lot of drama (which even included a real midget), I ended up with and emergency c-section. By the time they started prepping for surgery, my body was in shock and flopping around like a fish on the table. I was so disappointed and scared for the c-section but thank heavens our baby was born healthy and all was well. The doctor decided the reason for all the trouble was because his head was large (yep 100th percentile!) and the opening in my hips was narrow. 

My pregnancy with Benjamin also great. I really wanted to attempt a V-BAC but also didn't want to go through a repeat of what happened with Warren. My doctor did an ultrasound when I was 33 weeks along and lo and behold....his head was also measuring in the 95th percentile. In the same ultrasound they also said they thought they saw a knot in the umbilical cord. My fate was sealed and I regrettably scheduled my 2nd section. 

I will admit I felt a little guilty just walking in, laying on the table and 5 minutes later he was born. We were so happy and overall it was easy and uneventful. Until....I was ready to leave the recovery room. I had been in there for about an hour and a half. The recovery nurse had just come in and said everything looked good and I could probably go to my room and nurse the baby in about 15 minutes. Great. 

Just after that my heart rate suddenly dropped to 28 and stayed there. Machines were going off, the nurse was paging doctors and frantically kept checking on me and asking questions. I was pretty doped up on Morphine from the surgery but Suddenly I felt even more murky and couldn't focus. She paged the doctors again and again and again. Finally she shot me with adrenaline which brought it up a little but not enough. Weston re-entered the room and a few steps behind him finally came the doctors. The nurse and the anesthesiologist started bickering over me. 

With my heart rate still too low they gave me a second shot of adrenaline. The doctor kept minimizing it saying, "oh she must be sensitive to the narcotic" & "this happens occasionally." With her 20 years experience as a recovery nurse, she insisted she had never seen this kind of reaction. Upon our research, if a person does have a reaction to the anesthesia this can happen but usually it happens quickly, about 10 minutes into the surgery. At this point I was well over 2 hours post surgery. Eventually the adrenaline caught up with me and then my heart rate was dangerously too high. After another 1.5 hours in the recovery room I finally stabilized. We never really were given an explanation as to why it happened. The whole thing was pretty freaky to say the least. 

I was nervous from the get go about having another baby but knew we wanted more kids. Three years later we knew we were headed for c-section #3. We decided to go to downtown Houston because the best doctors work in the med-center. We talked with my doctor extensively about the previous reaction and situation. She ordered a consult with anesthesia prior to delivery and we felt better but my nerves were still unsettled. 

D-day came and I was SO, SO, SO nervous for this c-section. The anesthesiologist gave me a drug that was supposed to keep my heart rate from dropping too low during surgery. It made me so sick that before they even cut me open I was throwing up repeatedly on the surgical table. Then he gave me something to help with the nausea and we proceeded with the delivery. Everything went well and once again we were blessed with another very adorably large headed son. :) Then came the recovery room and down went my heart rate, although it seemed the medicine worked. This time it didn't get into the 20's but hovered in the high 30's to mid 40's. I was stable and not so dizzy so we just waited it out and everything corrected naturally on its own. Things were smooth from there and all was well as I recovered for 3.5 days at the hospital. Until....

The day after I got home from the hospital from having Oliver I noticed that I was having hard time taking a deep breath and was having a lot of pain in my abdomen and particularly in my ribs. I was taking the bare minimum pain meds, so I chalked most of it up to the c-section recovery. The second day I was home I could tell it was getting worse so I called my OB and spoke with her. She asked me some questions and told me if I felt like I was ever hungering for breath to come in or go to the ER. Thursday night was a bad night. The breathing became harder and the pain worse.  I was also extremely swollen which is normal after a c-section but this time it was particularly bad. 

That day, we picked up the boys from a kids camp at noon, dropped them at a friends house and headed straight to my doctors office. She did her examination and was immediately concerned. I should have lost at least 15 lbs with the delivery of the baby but I weighed exactly the same as the day I delivered. She gave me some lasix (a diarrhetic) to start getting the water off me and sent us straight to the ER. She thought I was having a gallbladder attack because the pain was in that same region. The nurse that checked us into the ER recorded my heart rate at 33 and my blood pressure was high. Within an hour they had done a full chest x-ray, bloodwork, ultrasound of my abdomen and an EKG. 

I was sitting there in utter shock and disbelief. I was even making jokes and light of the situation thinking, "I am a healthy person. This doesn't happen to me." When the ER doc came in she looked very concerned and I started to panic. First they discovered gallstones and told me they they thought I would need to have emergency gallbladder surgery but couldn't do it until they figured out what was going on with my heart. The chest x-ray came back showing that my right lung was more than half full of fluid! 

After that the doctor informed me they were going to have to check me into the ICU until they did more tests and needed to monitor my heart constantly. "This doesn't happen to me. I am a healthy person!" Then came the next blow as the proceeded to tell me that my baby, my 6 day old baby would not be able to come with me into the ICU! I burst into tears and started begging. At first the nurse insisted that it wouldn't be possible but I think the ER doctor had some compassion and made a few calls. Finally, they told us that since there wasn't anyone septic in the ICU he could come in, as long as Weston was there but he would have to go home with him at night and anytime he left. 

They gave me more lasix and sent me up to my room. They get me hooked up to 6 machines and as my heart rate popped up the on the monitor the ICU nurse, who was the sweetest old lady, says in her old lady voice "watchin that heart rate all night is gonna give ME a heart attack!" NOT the most comforting thing to say to a couple whom the doctors just told an hour ago they needed to rule out a rare post gestational condition in which the new mothers heart dies and needs a transplant! Both Weston and my panicked eyes embraced across the room. 

I didn't sleep the entire night and A LOT goes through your head when you are 33 years old and you just got told you may have a possibly fatal heart condition. Sitting there staring at the black screen and glowing green numbers....33,35,31 29,28,26, BEEP, BEEP, 38,35, 30 26...BEEP! My cell phone was literally about to die and therefore I was not able to contact anyone. I was very grateful Weston called our good friend here, Jereck Boss. He drove down from Kingwood in a flash to help Weston give me a blessing. It was so nice to see his smiling face and feel the presence of the priesthood there. 

I laid there weepy and worrying. Worrying I might die, worrying when Weston left I may not see him or my boys again, worrying how my boys would respond and sad they weren't allowed in the ICU, worrying how long I would be there, worrying about how I would have another surgery when I just had a c-section, who would take care of my boys and worrying I was worrying too much! This did not help my blood pressure which sky rocketed and made things much worse! Through prayer I would work to calm myself down but the few times I almost dozed off, my heart rate dropped even more and the machine would go off again. Needless to say, it was an exhausting night in every way. 

Weston was exhausted as well and took the baby home that night. He got up with him every few hours for Oliver's feedings and was up early every morning to greet our mommy/daddy starved children for a few minutes only having to leave them in tears as he left to get back to me. Luckily Teri (his step mom) arrived in Texas to visit in the middle of all the drama and was able to take care of the boys for us that weekend. We were so grateful she was there and for all her help. She truly was a lifesaver. I still feel bad she missed out on her girls weekend she had planned with her sister Julie while she was here. 

Morning came and then there were more x-rays, blood work, tests and finally the long awaited echocardiogram and visit with the cardiologist. The x-ray showed that the lasix were working and my lung was almost empty. Subsequently, the pain in my ribs was almost gone. The blood work came back and indicated I wasn't having a gallbladder attack and therefore didn't need immediate surgery and finally the cardiologist came! All good news. She did find a medium sized leak in my heart in which she was concerned about but she suspected was really a smaller (functional leak) which had enlarged due to my blood pressure, etc. That was still a mystery and needed monitoring but she was able to rule out the post gestational heart failure! Huge, huge relief. She started me on some blood pressure medication hoping if she got that under control that my heart rate would slowly come back up. She left and I pretty much passed out after that. I was so tired. Weston had brought my phone charger and after I rested I was finally able to start contacting people. 

 Meanwhile, they had continued with the lasix and by doing so I had already lost 16 lbs of water in the first 18 hours! They continued monitoring me for the next two days and by Sunday night my heart rate was finally back to the mid sixties and with some serious coaxing on my part they released me Sunday night. I can't even tell you how happy I was to arrive at HOME and see my sweet boys faces again!

So what was the flipping diagnoses? There really isn't a name for it and apparently its uncommon but my doctor called it post gestational induced hypertension. They believe all the water retention bogged down my kidneys which caused my heart rate to drop and my blood pressure to rise. I took the heart medicine for about 4 weeks and took my blood pressure every hour at home. The good news is I stopped taking my meds about 10 days ago, my blood pressure is back to normal and my post echocardiogram shows that my "leak" shrunk back down to what she considers common and functional. Yippee! Oh and the water? I lost a total of 35 lbs! I'm tellin ya, it was sick. In a good way. :) 

Between having #3, the c-section recovery, this drama and 2 bouts of mastitis after I got home from the hospital....this recovery has wiped me out and been slower than usual. I am starting to feel human again and feel so grateful for a healthy body these days! Feeling grateful for many things actually and happy for all my many blessings! Family and wonderful friends who truly care about you, means the world. I can't express how much it means to have the support and phone calls of those you love when you are in this kind of situation. 

So there you have it. There is our baby story. At this point I don't know if we will have another one to share. We are both still pretty traumatized. Well, I should say I was but am feeling better about things. Weston is still not convinced. Therefore I am unsure what the future holds as far as having any more kids. I have always wanted to adopt so this may give us our chance. :) 


 ICU Cheerleaders

"Don't I make this hospital bed look good?"

Hanging out with OMA.

When I walked in the door, Warren greated me with this hand picked flower he saved for me. He is such a thoughtful boy. It was the perfect welcome home. 

Sunday, June 7, 2009

Pony. Pone. Poni.

A few years ago life was crazy stressful and I was having a pretty hard time. One day I was talking with one of my friends on the phone who happened to be dealing with almost identical problems and worries. Our conversation turned spiritual and we were both trying to buoy one another up. Life had not taken the course that either of us thought it should have. Sound familiar? I don't mean to minimize this because the trials we were both experiencing were very significant and we were both completely exhausted. At times, it seemed there was no light to be seen. No hope. We were both striving to be faithful and remained close to the Lord. We talked often. Each time we spoke, we supported and laughed with each other and tried our best to press forward with faith but the trials remained.

In all that another constant remained, phone call after phone call. Both of us, although we wanted more than anything for these trials to be removed, could feel our Saviors love stronger than we ever had before in our lives. His tender mercies were abundant and we both felt a strong sense of peace and spiritual alignment with what God wanted for us. The bitter truly was made sweet. Not after the trial but in the midst of it.

Even though I could see the tender mercies and was full of gratitude overflowing for His love , from time to time, I still found myself questioning and even whining again for my will to be fulfilled. My faith would slip for a moment and therefore so did my perspective. I knew right when it happened because I didn't feel as close to the Savior and peace would vanish.

A few days later, I was in Hallmark looking for a fun pick me up for another friend when I spotted it. At first it caught my eye because it reminded me of a strikingly similar picture of myself when I was little. Cute little girl, brown hair and round sunglasses. A little less dramatic as my glasses were not quite as oversized and I definitely did not have a convertible with white leather seats to roll around town in (EVER in my life). I pulled the card out to read the caption and instantly started laughing. Yes. Out Loud. In the store.

I thought....so this is how Heavenly Father sends an "instant message" to me on earth! Just like my friend and I would laugh at ourselves.... I really felt like Heavenly Father gave me the humorous nudge I needed that day to remind me what I actually look like when I start to be less grateful for all that he has already given me.

Suprisingly, I have not mastered this concept yet (cue sarcasm) as the "heavenly messenger" has chimed once again.




Friday, April 24, 2009

Seasons......



I am also happy for the opportunity to serve in Primary. Last week was my first and it was so fun and refreshing. I have a feeling it won't be long until I fall in love with all the little ones! Looking out to there faces as they sang the welcome song to me was so sweet. All the ladies in the Presidency are wonderful also, so that is a plus. The change of pace will be good for me too!

Here are just a few of my wonderful memories while serving these amazing girls! These vignettes were created for each value for New Beginnings this year. The girls came up with them all on their own. They did such a fabulous job, don't you think?













Youth Conference = sleepover at "Sistah Halls" = man catchin cookies = oh. yea!

My current Miamaids!

Camp Takula "Haka".....it was dope. ;)

I am a true believer of jumping right in with the girls!


Girls Camp = Heaven. EVEN in Texas....in August!!!

YW Iron Chef competition....at my house. Each group (Bees, Mias & Laurels) were given the same ingredients and they had to whip something together. It was all fabulous!

At the young women Fashion Show last weeked. It was AMAZING. The girls were trained for months in modeling by a woman in our ward who was in the industry. We had a professional stage, equipment, music, etc. They were so confident, fun and gorgeous! Sadly my camera died and so I did not get pictures of the girls.

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